There are times in our lives where we sit back and think about our past, we wonder how different were things back then. When i was a young child all i wished was to grow up, to be like my Achan or chettan - people who were occupied with things to do lists and commitments. I used to imagine back then how my grown up days will be. I hated the tag of being a child then, i wanted to be there in the world of grown ups. To make my name resounding, to have some real action -- yes it seemed all fun to my eyes.

                                               While craving for my growth , i didn't realized that i was loosing my childhood, i didn't realize i was loosing my innocence, i didn't realize i was missing out on the best part of one's life. And yes i regret it today.. I regret it badly. No matter how many significant events have gone passed in my life i still have those random pictures of childhood flickering through my mind. The first time i went to a school-- It was raining a lot, Amma hold me strong in her hands, i didnt' wanted to leave the comforts of home, but suddenly i was plunged into the hands of some sisters who grabbed me from amma. I felt like it was the last time i am going to see her, my eyes became moist. I was so sensitive during those times, even trivial things affected me- it's funny though i still carry a bit of that in me.

                                              I also remember an event that used to horrify me during childhood, it was one of the most saddest days of my childhood days -Achan had a long stick in his hands that day, he beated me like nothing as i pleaded for mercy. It was more painful than mere beating as Achan never used to beat me, he never even used to be angry at me. But that day all hell broke loose, as the stick showered some hefty blows below my knees. Now i look at that day and understands that my father was not being a dictator, he was just doing his duty of correcting me.

                                             The memories that stick into our head are usually sad ones, we never really remember the good ones and complains to god for tormenting us failing to see the good things he has given us. There was this instance of me cheating my class teacher over submission of homeworks, i cheated her downright for 1 year -- I was the class leader that time and she always asked me to count the number of home works kept on the table. I would go about doing the job adding 1 to the count to save me. She was such a nice teacher and always had kind encouraging words for me. One day I gained the courage to tell her what i was doing , but sadly could only find another teacher in her cabin. I then learned that she left the school and joined another school as teacher. I did see her after many years and thought that i will finally confess to her my deeds -- strangely she didn't recognise me. So my confession goes untold.

                                          Little things fills our priority lists when we are children, buying bubble gum  not for chewing but for collecting the cricketers card, fighting with dozens of friends to have a go at the Super Mario video game, waiting for the muddy pot to get filled with coins, waiting for a vishu to get money from elders and have a blast with crackers, flying the hand made kites during onam vaccations , cursing the rain for ruining a days play , watching tom and jerry instead of having the break fast, waking up early to see if the little seed planted had sprouted -------------------  Yes the list goes endless. I know there are different stages in our life and each have their own significance, but childhood in my view is still the best.

                                           These days when i do something irresponsibe in nature Achan always says "You are no more a child, Remember that" . I do remember that Achaa, but can't help missing those good old times. I read this somewhere which made a great impact to me " Live every moment of your life with your mind focussed on the present, so you don't regret your past in the future"



Thats all folks

With love
Krishna Sangeeth