Intricate Ramblings aka Spoofs

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WHEN HSPS 11.04 MET YoYo Systems



The highly anticipated HSPS 11.04 crashed. The product was released some days ago after facing severe punctuality and year-out crisis. Though the OS passed the deadline put forward by CUSAT quality testing centre, the product was found to have severe bugs like daydreaming, thoughts about Y, geek talk etc. The product HSPS 11.04 was taken for test by YoYo Systems[M D Yacko Abrams] and that eventually led to the crash of the famous OS. The last syntax error shown by HSPS 11.04 after the crash was a question that has puzzled the software developers of the OS. During the debug process at Mammen Memorial Assembly Center, the OS was communicating in a new highlevel language "Chin-Chang-Chu" which was a krypt that can only be solved by applying X-RAY on HSPS kernel. The experts was surprised at the meaning of crypt, it was a question : "WHO INVENTED X- RAY?"
(athayathu X-RAY edukkaan poyappol, ee mahaan chodichu... alla sistere "ee X-RAY kandupidichatara? Ariyumo? Sister replied "ninte achan alla ennu enikkariyaam")

The share holders of YoYo Systems were quick to act without panic and moved the stocks to a much safer location at Kottayam. YoYo systems suffered more damage than HSPS 11.04 since 3 of its important centres stopped functioning(athayathu lavanu 3 fractures undu). The main tagline of YoYo systems have been "Ride hard or Stay home", but after the recent happenings it has been rephrased as " Ride harded and going to stay home". This is not the first time YoYo systems have been involved in a crash. Last time the OS involved in crime was Denubuntu, which was an open source OS which took the responsiblity for crash. On one of the defining quotes of the day, YoYo systems MD said " WHY - CRASH - WHY - ALWAYS - ME ".

LATEST NEWS : YoYo Systems going to sell his main server Pulsar200( which is actually Pulsar180). HSPS 11.04 recoverd quickly at Century Data Analysis Centre but still is communicating in the highlevel language "Chin-Chang-Chu".

Let's hope that these two integral part of our campus cloud computing , reboots quickly to their previous status as soon as possible..

That's all folks
Special correspondent from IIT junction
(working for a local newspaper with no NAME :P)


A obituary to my dear friend Anup Sam Abraham


Anup Sam Abraham popularly known as "Ravuthar" was one of the most mentally challenging people i ever met in my life. Popular writer K.S quoted about him once as "The only sense this guy has is nonsense". He made mockery out of the exams he attended by writing abusive language in all of his main papers. He was warned several time for this misbehavior by various authorities including the principal of the institution he studied. His reply to the principal still echoes at the college campus " The only mistake i did was signing up for engineering. If you can't fix it , F**K off".

He was kicked out for the above mentioned reason, but made a lot of money later in his life by selling tennis games made out of junk "C" codes which he copied from some site. He was smart enough to utilize a very talented group of hackers called Kurdish hackers to block the content of that site, thus making his creation an orginal masterpiece. Though he made lot of money by selling the tennis video game, he was largely unsatisfied and felt something missing all the while. It was somewhere in the fall of 2045 that he came up with the deadly idea of killing all of his batchmates who studied with him. But same plan lead to his death.
What he forgot was that his class mates including people like Melvin John , Rahul Ramesh , K S , Gopi Krishnan , Chintu , Blesson , Dennis etc were planning to do the same to him. They got to him before he even came close to their home. And now somewhere in a misty ocean lies the body of a man who once terrorised the entire class.

RIP ANOOP, my dear friend we had no other option.. Another treacherous way of killing you was making anuraj and yacko say chalus, but we were kinder. Meet you at hell.




A Journey to the middle of Nowhere


Note : Please leave your common sense aside while going through this.

Tagline : "Why would 5 young men travel 100 kms on a chilly night for a glass of orange juice?"
Wanna know the reason;
Nobel prize winner Krishna Sangeeth K. S. goes back his memory lane to recollect an eventful day of his life where he finally understood the meaning of the sentence " Ride Hard or Stay Home".

Preface,
Being the executive editor of HINDU is a tough job, but in the middle of all this chaos, there is a place which gives me peace like no other. The very thought of this place calms my senses, yes i am talking about my campus, my life line , my inspiration, my second home - IIT Delhi. Through this book i am trying to recollect an eventful day that happened during my college life at IIT D.
(Now since the banglore based editor forgot some of the places in Delhi, he is going to stick with an imaginary place , let us call that place Chengannur. Now incase such a place do exist and there is an engineering college there, it is a matter of pure coincidence)
Chapter 1
WHAT AN IDEA SIRJI?
It was two decades ago, way back in 2010 that this event happens. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, people were still using slow intel i7 processors. Yes you might pity our circumstance of living now, but we considered our life abundant and full of energy. We dined from the finest restaurants of our generations like Oven Fresh & Nila. Some times when stock markets crash and recession occurs, we entered with great pride into well known centres like oonu house and college canteen. And when recession leads to great economic depression we had our very own thattukadas to rely upon.
It was a time when anything was possible, Rajinikanth just 60 years old made the most idiotic movie ever and still laughed all the way to bank, Suresh Kalmadi was given the honour of running a corruption unit called CWG, lady gaga was still insane, and would you believe it : you could actually get a bottle of mineral water cheaper than a bottle of coke. Hmm , i surely miss those good old days.
Now this story includes five people. They are
1) Yacko Abrahms ( MD, YoYo Bandminton products. He has written a 300 page autobiography which contains just one sentence repeated over viz " Ride Hard or Stay Home ", the word ride has been replaced with a more popular term these days. )
2) Gopi Krishnan S ( MD , i Flux Software solutions . His company also produces world class sleeping pills which are usually tested on engineering students during lectures)
3) Rahul Ramesh (MD, 3D Soft. His company specialises in producing various 3D applications and 3D hardware which are quite a hit among youth.)
4) Bipin Thomas ( MD , Thommy & Sons Inc . His company is the largest private bank in india which holds the world record for having the largest number of board members. You guessed it right, they are his children)
5) Krishna Sangeeth K.S ( Executive editor of THE HINDU, Well you know me - i don't like to boast)

On one of our get togethers the humble executive editor(E E) asked the gang "Whose idea was it?". Then suddenly each of them started claiming it is their idea. A mini civil war followed everytime this question was asked regarding the ownership right of the idea. Even though i have made countless investigations into the above matter, all my efforts were futile. The person who sparked this ingenious idea is still a mystery that needs to be solved. So what was the idea? It was not sending man to moon, it was not the invention of turing machine, it was not the invention of viagra either.
It was the idea of going for a late night tea @ AC ROAD( an imaginary road @ imaginary chengannur).


PS: Everything mentioned above is lie, but as my room mate points out- If you add one letter to lie, it becomes life.

That's all Folks
Krishna Sangeeth K.S

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